When I was thinking through the name of the blog, I kept coming back to the idea of being truly authentic. Of not acting like things are peachy if they aren’t. Well, God is definitely putting me to the test now!
I don’t want the blog to become Kristen’s ranting and rambling and moping, but I also want to be honest about the season of life I’m in… it’s been a really hard year for me, and I’m still in the midst of it all. I’m walking through some things that I never, ever thought I’d be going through but guess what? I can honestly say that God is good.
And not in a sunday school, preachy way either. But in a I’m going through the hardest time of my entire life and I am still seeing God’s abundant blessings and provisions for my EVERY need. He has provided incredible friends and community to walk with me and tirelessly pray with me, He has provided a job that I’m actually invigorated and excited about going to every morning now, He has provided the EXACT book recommendation that I needed and the list goes on.
The weird part of all of that? I know that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be right now — right in the middle of this hard chapter of my life. I have had visions and dreams confirmed, I have had specific, detailed prayer requests answered as confirmation to this fact. But often times, that doesn’t make going through all the muck of life any easier. Thank goodness that God’s power is made perfect when I’m weak, because that’s about the only adjective I feel describes me right now: weak and totally dependent on Him. I keep coming back to this verse:
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
(2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV)
I’m trying to learn how to just rest. Rest in God and let His power radiate from me on mornings when I’m not sure I can get up, nights when I’m crying so much the snot is running down my face, and moments when the pain is so great I’m not sure if I can continue on. I’m trying to just surrender whatever control I feel like I have over the situation, and just let God lead me where I’m supposed to go… stay tuned, I’ll authentically report back about the journey. But I know that God is good.